How to Address Wedding Invitations
It may seem silly to google “how to address my wedding invitations”, but the reality is that not many of us send snail mail these days. And while we know the basics of addressing an envelope, we aren’t accustomed to using the rules of etiquette that previous generations used more frequently.
While times have become more casual, a wedding is still an important event in someone’s life. Anyone entering into marriage isn’t planning on getting married again. For this reason, weddings should be treated with a touch more formality than say, for example, a bridal shower or baby shower. However, it’s your day and of course, you should do whatever you want. No one is going to get upset if you want to address your invitations to Grandma and Grandpa, or Uncle Henry and Aunt Sally. Do what makes sense for you and your guests.
That being said, here is a guide on how to address your wedding invitations if you choose to use formal wording.
General Tips
In the address line, words such as street and avenue should be spelled out, not abbreviated.
Write the state name when possible instead of abbreviating
Use your guests’ full names and titles. Mr. and Mrs. can be abbreviated, Dr. and Rev can be spelled out or abbreviated, and military titles should never be abbreviated.
If you use middle names, spell out their entire name instead of using initials.
The return address should be placed on the back flap or in the left upper corner of the front of the envelope.
Married Couples
Always address the envelope to both members of the couple, even if you only know one.
Example- Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Married Couples with Different Last Names
You can write either name first, but tradition calls for the husband’s name first.
Example- Mr. Robert Adler and Ms. Rebecca O’Neill
Use two lines with an indentation if they don’t fit on the same line.
Example:
Mr. Robert Adler
and Ms. Rebecca O’Neill
Guests with Titles
Who gets a title? Members of the clergy, medical professionals, the military, and anyone who holds government office. And they should be written first on the address line.
Examples:
Doctor Elizabeth Monovan and Mr. John Wagner (if the woman uses her maiden name)
The Doctors Wagner, Drs. John and Elizabeth Wagner (if they are both doctors)
Unmarried Couples Living Together
Use the same guidelines as married couples. You can list the man’s name first or the woman’s. If you don’t know one person in the couple, put the person you are more acquainted with first. Gay couples will use the same formatting.
Example- Mr. Harrison Staley and Ms. Jennifer Bennett.
Plus-ones
If you don’t know the name of someone’s partner, you can use plus-one or if they live at separate addresses. List the plus-one on a separate line.
Children
Traditional etiquette calls for children over the age of 13 to receive their own separate invitations. But let’s be honest, one household doesn’t really need separate invitations and this isn’t the most environmentally friendly practice, to say the least for your budget.
Children’s names can be listed below their parents’ names. For boys, use Mr. and for girls under the age of 18 use Miss.
Families
If a household has a lot of children sometimes it is more efficient to address the envelope, Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and family. When using this option make sure it is clear that the invitation is only for the household and doesn’t include their second cousin that lives down the street. If the children are young you can use this choice, but once children are grown they should receive a separate invitation, especially if they don’t live with their parents.
Handwritten Calligraphy Addressing
Hopefully, this has helped you navigate the world of envelopes. Don’t stress about envelope addressing too much- most people won’t be offended if you make a mistake. And when in doubt, don’t be afraid to ask. Ask your stationer for advice if you’re unsure and if you don’t know how someone prefers to be addressed, ask them or someone close to them. It feels wonderful getting mail that is correctly addressed to you. Like someone made an effort to get every detail right.
And please please please resist printing those mailing stickers. Yes, you probably already have everyone’s address in a spreadsheet and it would be so easy to print them on stickers. Resist the urge. Your wedding envelopes should stand out from your guests’ other mail. Especially the junk mail. And who uses preprinted labels? Junk mail.
If it’s in your budget, hiring a calligrapher is a great way to wow your guests with your wedding invitations. If not, use your best handwriting or enlist a friend who does.
And if you’re like me who planned most of my wedding on my own, I highly recommend checking out Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette. That book is a gold mine of information for all aspects of wedding planning.
Happy addressing!
